Religious Education Update: May 20, 2007
Hospitality as a Spiritual Practice
When I attended District Assembly recently, I was deeply moved by the keynote address delivered by the Rev. Peter Morales, minister of the Jefferson Unitarian Church in Denver. He described how Americans are becoming increasingly isolated. In addition, households are becoming ever smaller. For example, at the end of the second World War, half of Americans lived in households that included three generations under one roof. Today almost none do, and those who do are mostly recent immigrants. The percentage of single person households is growing larger.
Rev. Morales also shared that in this time of cell phones and email and presumably constant connections, Americans increasingly report that they have few close friends or relatives. Some report that they have no one in whom they can confide details of their personal life. Many Americans hunger for community today. As a result, many visitors to UU groups are looking for a place which will provide these essential social connections and friendship.
So, what is hospitality in the spiritual sense? In Rev. Morales’ words,
“True hospitality is a spiritual practice, a religious practice. Like meditation or prayer, it is a practice that connects us with a deep truth. Our sense of isolation, our sense of individualism, is ultimately an illusion that cuts us off from what is real and true and loving in life. Our disconnection places us in opposition to each other and causes untold suffering.
How can we practice religious hospitality? There are a thousand ways. We practice hospitality, first, by being open and loving with those we already know. We practice it right here beginning with our friends. We practice hospitality when we ask “How are you?” and really want to know. We practice hospitality when we smile across the room and rush to embrace a friend.
We begin with those we already know and love, but we can not and must not stop there. If we stop there we draw a circle that keeps others out, a circle that disconnects us. We begin with those we know and love, but we must go much farther.
A religious hospitality reaches out to those it does not yet know. This can be as simple as the practice of greeting those seated near you on Sunday morning and actually getting up the courage to talk to someone you do not know during coffee hour. Here at church it means being open and warmly welcoming to those who are visiting, to those looking for a religious home. Part of our work as a religious community is to create a place, a safe place, where we can come to know each other deeply. We do this in small groups, in committees, in the choir, working together in social action, working with children in religious education. We do it by listening and by sharing. We do it by opening our hearts.”
When I first came to UUP, I felt warmly welcomed, particularly by one of our former members who has since moved to another state, BJ. She practiced true hospitality every Sunday morning by sitting on the porch of our building and greeting people as they entered. BJ continued her practice inside our space by making coffee and organizing the bagelistas. The warmth and love she expressed helped me feel at home here.
I don’t remember BJ ever using the words “religious hospitality”, but she knew the practice and lived it well. Others at UUP were also practitioners in those early days when I was a stranger here. They embraced my daughter Lara and me as new members and encouraged our participation in the life of the church.
We practice hospitality at our coffee hour, of course, when we listen deeply to our friends and newcomers alike. However, the coffee hour isn’t enough for me. I need to participate in other community events where I can share my thoughts and build relationships. I’ve observed that friendships can grow over the board table or during choir practice. Adults and children can get to know each other better in religious education classes or intergenerational events. All of these activities build our community.
There is a UUP Potluck and Maypole Dance today. Next weekend, many of us will be at the Retreat. It would be easy for me to think of these type of events as just great fun, which they are. However, they also provide wonderful opportunities to practice religious hospitality and build the bonds that create a deeper spiritual, caring, loving and embracing community.
As we build a more connected community at events like these, we can then return to our Sunday morning worship services and extend our embrace to those newcomers who are searching for community, a safe place for their children to ask difficult questions, and a home where they may freely search for deeper meaning in their lives. That would be a gift to newcomers, but it would be a far greater spiritual gift to each of us and to UUP. The love we would extend would multiply and return in abundance. Blessed be.
Marlene Abel
Director of Religious Education
When I attended District Assembly recently, I was deeply moved by the keynote address delivered by the Rev. Peter Morales, minister of the Jefferson Unitarian Church in Denver. He described how Americans are becoming increasingly isolated. In addition, households are becoming ever smaller. For example, at the end of the second World War, half of Americans lived in households that included three generations under one roof. Today almost none do, and those who do are mostly recent immigrants. The percentage of single person households is growing larger.
Rev. Morales also shared that in this time of cell phones and email and presumably constant connections, Americans increasingly report that they have few close friends or relatives. Some report that they have no one in whom they can confide details of their personal life. Many Americans hunger for community today. As a result, many visitors to UU groups are looking for a place which will provide these essential social connections and friendship.
So, what is hospitality in the spiritual sense? In Rev. Morales’ words,
“True hospitality is a spiritual practice, a religious practice. Like meditation or prayer, it is a practice that connects us with a deep truth. Our sense of isolation, our sense of individualism, is ultimately an illusion that cuts us off from what is real and true and loving in life. Our disconnection places us in opposition to each other and causes untold suffering.
How can we practice religious hospitality? There are a thousand ways. We practice hospitality, first, by being open and loving with those we already know. We practice it right here beginning with our friends. We practice hospitality when we ask “How are you?” and really want to know. We practice hospitality when we smile across the room and rush to embrace a friend.
We begin with those we already know and love, but we can not and must not stop there. If we stop there we draw a circle that keeps others out, a circle that disconnects us. We begin with those we know and love, but we must go much farther.
A religious hospitality reaches out to those it does not yet know. This can be as simple as the practice of greeting those seated near you on Sunday morning and actually getting up the courage to talk to someone you do not know during coffee hour. Here at church it means being open and warmly welcoming to those who are visiting, to those looking for a religious home. Part of our work as a religious community is to create a place, a safe place, where we can come to know each other deeply. We do this in small groups, in committees, in the choir, working together in social action, working with children in religious education. We do it by listening and by sharing. We do it by opening our hearts.”
When I first came to UUP, I felt warmly welcomed, particularly by one of our former members who has since moved to another state, BJ. She practiced true hospitality every Sunday morning by sitting on the porch of our building and greeting people as they entered. BJ continued her practice inside our space by making coffee and organizing the bagelistas. The warmth and love she expressed helped me feel at home here.
I don’t remember BJ ever using the words “religious hospitality”, but she knew the practice and lived it well. Others at UUP were also practitioners in those early days when I was a stranger here. They embraced my daughter Lara and me as new members and encouraged our participation in the life of the church.
We practice hospitality at our coffee hour, of course, when we listen deeply to our friends and newcomers alike. However, the coffee hour isn’t enough for me. I need to participate in other community events where I can share my thoughts and build relationships. I’ve observed that friendships can grow over the board table or during choir practice. Adults and children can get to know each other better in religious education classes or intergenerational events. All of these activities build our community.
There is a UUP Potluck and Maypole Dance today. Next weekend, many of us will be at the Retreat. It would be easy for me to think of these type of events as just great fun, which they are. However, they also provide wonderful opportunities to practice religious hospitality and build the bonds that create a deeper spiritual, caring, loving and embracing community.
As we build a more connected community at events like these, we can then return to our Sunday morning worship services and extend our embrace to those newcomers who are searching for community, a safe place for their children to ask difficult questions, and a home where they may freely search for deeper meaning in their lives. That would be a gift to newcomers, but it would be a far greater spiritual gift to each of us and to UUP. The love we would extend would multiply and return in abundance. Blessed be.
Marlene Abel
Director of Religious Education
posted by Unitarian Universalists of Petaluma @ 8:26 PM
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